In collaboration with Wicked Student Nights.
British nightlife is unrivalled; known for its excessive alcohol consumption, eclectic music scene and an obsession with fried chicken. But what’s most iconic about British club culture, is the people; a concentration of the eccentric, the hardcore. The die-hard ravers soldier on till 6am, the shy kids slap on the glitter and let themselves go and people from all walks of life come together under the shared love of having a good time.
But in this mixed bag of people there are, of course, the cliches. Everyone hopes that they’re not that annoying person that strangers laugh about the morning after a night out. But someone has to be, right?
We teamed up with Wicked Student Nights, curators of some of London’s hottest student nights, to give you the top 10 people you’ll meet on your night out.
The girl in the toilet
One explicitly for the women; we are all familiar with the best mate you make in the toilet. Women can often take ages in the bathroom because amidst reapplying makeup they’ve bonded with another random girl over clothes, sharing a similar accent, recognising a face or they over heard someone’s conversation about a cheating boyfriend and they share wise words.
The person in the smoking area
“Have you got a lighter, love?” Sound familiar? 90% of smokers clearly don’t think to bring a lighter on a night out- or they use asking for a lighter as a terrible chat-up line. There’s also always some really desperate person walking round begging to buy a cigarette for £1. Tragic.
The ‘extra’ dancer
Someone always gives it their all on the dancefloor and the surrounding people inevitably nudge their mates to say something similar to ‘OMG have you seen him dancing over there. That’s hilarious.’ If this is you, you might become a meme, but at the end of the day, you’re having a ball and that’s all that matters, right?
The non-existent dancer
Then about 5 yards away is the polar opposite, a person who is frozen still. Whether they remain static through shame, fear or exhaustion, as soon as they enter the venue their bodies turn to wood and the only place they move to is the bar and back. Aside from the polite head nod when the extra dancer repeatedly elbows them in the face.
The one who takes it too far
Your mate chris takes 7 shots, falls down the stairs and pisses himself and everyone just responds with the phrase ‘typical Chris’. Seriously Chris mate, have a word with yourself.
There will always be a mother figure who makes it their duty to take care of the whole group. She makes you visit the toilets in a pact, if you leave her peripheral vision for but a second she sends out a search party and she is alway the one fetching the glasses of water. If you’re the mum, have a shot and take the night off- if your mate throws up on herself, that’s her problem.
The couple who need to take it home
Whether you meet in the club or you meet before you get there, don’t be that couple who can’t keep their hands off each other whilst everyone else is surrounding you. It’s great you’re into that person, but no one wants to see it. Ever. Get an Uber and carry on in private-you’re clearly not there for the music anyway
That mate that throws up
What differentiates this person from your mate Chris who took it too far is that this person had smaller limits to begin with. They only had half a bottle of wine at the pre-drinks and they agreed to that shot of tequila to play catch up. You’re then left holding their hair whilst they let it all out.
The deep talker
Your mate asks you to sit down for a bit and seeing how drunk they are, you oblige. You innocently ask them how they are and 40 minutes later, your knee deep in their life story. After sharing, they spend the next 15 minutes telling you they love you and saying how much of a good mate you are. You either hug it out or your mate starts crying and you spend the next 40 minutes comforting them.
The rando who won’t shut up
They make a harmless comment when you bump into each other or lock eyes for a split second and they see it as an ‘in’ to chat shit to you for about half an hour. There isn’t really any way out of this. They’re eager to chat and you’re a free ear trapped in the crowd unable to escape. Grit and bear it or politely do the whole ‘I can’t hear you sorry the music’s too loud’ act.
Wicked Student Nights is home of London’s biggest student nights. We provide fun, affordable nights out that are not just about cheap drinks: we are dedicated to showing you a WICKED night out.
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