#onpaper: Legit Life Lessons From Love Island

By Ashley Manning | Sunday 16th July, 2017

As a self-confessed TV snob, it crushes me (and pleases me) that my evenings are now built around my 9 O’clock Love Island fix. Nights out are delayed, pub trips are cut short and come 9pm, everyone (read EVERYONE including people who claim to passively watch it ‘because their girlfriend has it on TV’) is immediately invested in the sun-drenched lives of 10 young, swimsuit clad Brits.

We’ve backed Camilla’s adolescent coyness as she blushed each time a man merely brushed past her arm hair, heckled Jonny’s disloyalty and archaic views towards the 21st century woman and fell in love with Gabby and Marcel whose romance is, quite frankly, BLAZIN’. But after investing nearly 8 weeks of our time into this show, surely there are lessons to be learnt? Well, I guess the most important lessons are not putting all your eggs in one basket and respecting the sanctity of an infinity bracelet. But truth be told, the show does have some hidden gems of wisdom that add a whole new dimension.

In fact, the show comes with a hefty list of life lessons. So, when someone questions your addiction to the show (and that’s what it is, an addiction) please direct them here as we highlight the 5 things to avoid doing in life if you want a happy one- all in the name of Love Island.

DON’T fail to start (a.k.a The Camilla)


Although Camilla is now famed for her feminist rants and dating Calvin Klein models, she isn’t exactly known for leading a ‘pro-active’ lifestyle on the show. If you imagine that the 7-8 weeks of Love Island represented your entire life, and if, like Camilla, you did absolutely fuck all, what would you be left with? Hmm? Nothing. If you are one of the Camillas of the world you will be forever wondering what could have been or why your life is so stagnant. The answer, is you. If you want to live a fruitful life you need to get off the couch, grab those Calvin Klein models by the… er-hum and do something. Anything. Your life will only be as good as you make it.

DON’T be made the fool (a.k.a The Muggy Mike)

Mike might have looked as if he was calling the shots, but Olivia left him, Jess probably didn’t take up his advances (one would hope) and now he is back in the villa riding a second wave. God mike, stop being so bloody muggy please. So, this may seem like a counterintuitive piece of advice, but learn to know when to stop. If you have tried at something 100 times and you’re getting nowhere then have a rethink, change your tactics, revision your direction. I’m not saying shatter your own dreams I’m saying that in order to make your own luck, sometimes you just need to be honest with yourself.

DON’T compare yourself to everyone (a.k.a The Gabby)


I totally understand that in the confined villa of big tits and biceps, it’s so easy to compare yourself to everyone and immediately find fault with yourself. In fact, according to the Dove Self-esteem Charity, 62% of young women feel insecure or unsure of themselves. Come on, girls. What you always need to take into account is that everyone feels this way at some point in their lives and whilst you feel inadequate next to one person, there is someone else feeling inadequate standing next to you.
Gabby is the perfect example of someone who has allowed herself to feel inferior when from the outside, she’s one of the best loved contestants. Don’t be a Gabby, be an Amber- that girl is in love with herself.

DON’T lose your head (a.k.a The Jonny)


Jonny spent about 3 days choking on his own anger after Theo beelined towards Tyla. And if anything, his tantrum cost him his relationship and his place on the show (though to be honest, his days were already numbered). The negative consequences here are a great example of what happens when you lose your head. Mind Your Anger has reported that 45% of us regularly lose our temper with 1 in 7 of us seeking treatment for stress. If you’re about to explode, remove yourself from the situation, count to 10 and if that doesn’t help, do what I do: imagine everyone around me as a potato. It works.

DON’T lose perspective (aka The Tyla)


When Jonny left, Tyla’s hysterical response was quite honestly embarrassing. In reality, she’d just binned him off and the show is about to finish so what’s with the tears please? Having perspective in your own life is probably going to be the difference between being happy and feeling down. As you are about to react to something ask yourself, ‘is my reaction to this proportional to the severity of the situation in front of me?’ and more often than not, it really isn’t. I always ask myself, ‘when I’m 80, sitting in my rocking chair loving life, will I even remember this moment?’ The answer is no. Let it go. You don’t have enough fucks to give my friend.

And if all else fails… get yourself a Marcel.
See you at the crossroads guys.