The Survival Guide to Clubbing

Sponsored | Monday 18th September, 2017

In collaboration with Wicked Student Nights.

Very few good nights have ever started with the phrase I decided to stay at home.

That’s because, arguably one of the best aspects of being young are the opportunities to unashamedly go on nights out, freeing you from the stresses and responsibilities of the daily grind.

It’s simple enough- you buy a ticket, dress up, have a bev and off you go, into night. But this doesn’t ensure that you will have a good time. Oh no. There are certain things you need to do- certain things you ought to consider- that could potentially make or break your night. We teamed up with Wicked Student Nights, curators of the hottest student nights in London, to bring you the ultimate guide to clubbing. You’re welcome.


Before you head out

Don’t just go to any old club night

Too many people go to nights just because everyone else is going. And why is this a bad thing? Shouldn’t we all try and fit in? Erm. No. There is literally nothing worse than going on a night out and dreading it before you’ve even stepped out your front door. If you don’t like techno, don’t go to a techno night. If mainstream music makes your skin crawl, go somewhere that plays something else. Unless you want your night to be shit- in that case, plod along.

Wardrobe Wisdom

It’s painful watching women walk barefoot around the streets because their heels are causing them agony. If you’ll struggle moving about in your outfit for longer than 3 hours, you’re wearing the wrong thing. On top of that, woolly hats and flip-flops do not belong on nights out. Ever.

Pre-drink (responsibly…)

We’re not suggesting you get shit-faced before you go out (well...) but a little something to take the edge off isn’t the worst thing. If you arrive late to pre-drinks or you’re a light-weight then don’t play catchup. You don’t want to get turned away at the door because the bouncer thinks you’re too drunk. So he makes you ‘come back in 20 minutes when you’ve sobered up’ and you end up wandering down the queue of people asking randoms if you look sober enough to make a second attempt at getting back in.

Carbs. Carbs. Carbs

Get those carbs in you otherwise you’re gonna regret it. Either you’ll get so drunk you’ll be a mess and throw up/ do something you’ll regret/ fall over, or at the end of the night you’ll go to the chicken shop and order 50 nuggets, 20 wings and a burger. It’s your call.


During the night

Get involved

Even if you’re just two-stepping in the corner like your dad does at family parties after you told him it was a good idea to ‘do a shot of jäger with the kids’, do anything to avoid standing still. The longer you leave getting involved and embracing the atmosphere, the harder it will be throughout the night. Just relax; you’re there to enjoy yourself, so make sure you do just that. Have a shot, cut some shapes, let everyone hear how tone deaf you are when you sing.

Be savvy

Here’s our disclaimer- even if we tell you not to do certain things on your nights out, you’re going to do them regardless so please do them safely. Whatever they are- no judgement, we just care.

Don’t stay later than you want to...

Nothing kills off a good night like staying past the point it’s enjoyable. Granted, a lot of great nights go on until the early hours of the morning. But sometimes, it’s okay to just have had enough, dream up your Mcdonalds order and head on home.

...but don’t leave alone

After a few drinks, we all feel invincible. By all means, use this extra confidence to ask that person out you’ve liked for ages, or barter for an extra chicken wing at the chicken shop. But don’t go home alone. Don’t get into an unmarked taxi, don’t leave when your phone battery is dead and don’t just up and leave without anyone knowing. No good story ever ending with ‘and they never made it home’.


The morning after

H20 is your best mate

Hangovers are caused by two things; withdrawing from alcohol and your body suffering from dehydration. It’s unlikely at 9am when you wake up, peeling your lips apart, unable to lift your head off the pillow, room spinning that you’ll fancy getting back on the sauce. So, the cardinal rule of coping with the morning after is to drink a pint of water before bed and then keep another pint next to your bed. You have to do both for this to work. Not a sip, a pint.

Don’t wallow

So, you wake up and you feel like death. You’ve lost your bank card, you’ve kissed someone you shouldn’t have and you threw up all over yourself. Don’t worry, we’d feel pretty embarrassed too. But life goes on guys. Get out of bed, have a shower (and a tactical throw up if need be) and head out. Fresh air will sort your life out.

Order pizza

If the fresh air didn’t help, just bloody order the pizza and laugh about it all. You know what they say, if you don’t laugh, you cry. Plus, you may as well deal with all the shit you did last night head on because even if you try and forget it, your best mate will have it on their Snapchat story. Awkward.

Wicked Student Nights is home of London’s biggest student nights. We provide fun, affordable nights out that are not just about cheap drinks: we are dedicated to showing you a WICKED night out.
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