Believe what you see at the movies and every relationship is a bed of roses with your other half showering you with gifts. The reality can be much different. Relationships can be hard work. As individuals, we move at different paces through life, which means we can leave people behind.
No two relationships are the same, just as no two people are the same. It's important to remember that one solution to a relationship problem won't be right for everyone.
High, lows and every bit in between
No matter who you are, it’s inevitable that you will experience highs and lows in all parts of your life, especially relationships. It doesn't matter how caring and understanding you and your partner are, problems and arguments happen. When they do, it doesn’t automatically spell the end of your relationship.
As human beings, our feelings and opinions differ and it is this diversity that makes life so rich and exciting. Occasionally, disagreements can lead to a stronger and more loving relationship but only if handled well.
- Trust issues
You may have issues with trust due to your experiences in a past relationship. It’s understandable that you’re going to feel wary of your new partner, but you can't let this affect your current relationship. Leave these issues in the past and learn to trust your partner. There is no reason not to trust someone until they give you a valid reason.
If you don’t resolve your issues then you might eventually lose the person you love. Live in the moment and let go of anything that is causing you to feel like this.
Being a little jealous is part of human nature so you’re bound to feel like this. In some cases, it can be a good thing as it shows you care and have feelings for your partner.
Extreme or irrational jealousy, however, is detrimental to your relationship. Handling it is tough, especially when it feels so irrational. Take a step back to try and see the bigger picture. What is it that is the real problem? Extreme jealousy is closely linked with trust.
Talking with your partner is key to dealing with jealousy. But don’t dismiss it as something ‘silly’ because your intuition could be trying to tell you something…
Insecurities are also connected to trust and jealousy issues. This can range from thinking someone that your partner works with is better looking than you and they will leave you.
Everyone has personal insecurities - there are ways of dealing with insecurity both personal ones and in relationships – but essentially, it comes down to improving your mindset.
Realising that you are more than enough and not underestimating yourself are key to getting over this hurdle. The second thing is to be mature enough to raise your insecurities and work on them.
Some of the most common relationship problems stem from communication issues. Whether this is miscommunication or lack of communication when a small problem arises, issues are blown out of proportion. How many times have you fallen out with a friend of your boyfriend because you thought they said or didn’t say something?
To solve this, you need to talk. But you also need to listen, not always a skill many of us are blessed with.
We all get caught up in life. Career or studies take over our lives at busy times, especially when we are driven to reach a personal goal. Before you know it, you're spending less and less time with your partner, family or friends. For some relationships, the damage is done.
Get together with your partner and put aside to do fun things. Spending a night at movies, enjoy Netflix and chilling, or seeking adventures further afield are all tools for keeping your relationship on track. You have to work on your relationship. Taking it for granted the other person will always ‘be there’ immediately puts your relationship on shaky ground.
No matter how hectic your schedule is, always make sure you make time for your partner.
This can be from anything small like “I’ll call you later” to something big like “I promise I’ll never do it again”. Some people make promises, only to consistently break them. Don’t make promises you can’t keep because for the significant other in your life, they will feel let down. And there is only so much they will take before they wander off to pastures new…
If you can’t keep small promises, it starts to look like you won't keep the big ones.
You may be one unit, joined at the hip and enjoying each other’s company but a relationship is about two people. You are both individuals who have different views about life, love and happiness.
It is completely fine and healthy to have differences of opinions and tastes. Problems start when you don’t respect one another's views and beliefs. There is a difference between being tolerant of each other’s beliefs and ideals but quite another to be incompatible.
It takes a lot for a relationship to come back from the brink of the precipice that is infidelity. How you salvage your relationship depends on many things, relationship counselling being one tool you could use.
Nurture and love your partner
Relationships come and go. Some will make your smile when you remember the good times but others will make your blood run cold. Every relationship should be nurtured and cosseted, your partner or lover respected. And that may mean moving on from a relationship, just as it can mean digging deep to salvage what you have.